Written by P. Mark Accettura

Funerals provide an opportunity to grieve, to be with friends and family and honor the person who has passed. Like weddings, funerals are an important social occasion, balancing budget, custom, religious convention and personal preference.

Funerals are for the living; they do not benefit the dead. What you choose to do in your spouse’s (or your) final arrangements is a personal matter. As you plan the funeral or memorial there are many things to consider.

You may find it helpful to give some thought to the following questions before meeting with a funeral director:

1. What funeral home or mortuary will handle arrangements?
2. Will your spouse be buried or cremated?
3. Will your spouse be embalmed?
4. What type of casket or container will be chosen for the remains?
5. Will the body be present at any after-death ceremony?
6. Open or closed casket?
7. Will there be a period of visitation by family and friends?
8. What are the details of any ceremony you would like to have before cremation or burial? Music? Readings? Will the service be at the funeral home or a church? Who will officiate?
9. What will your spouse wear for cremation or burial?
10. Will there be pallbearers? Who?
11. What will be the final disposition of the remains? Where will they be buried, stored or scattered?
12. How will the body be transported to the cemetery or gravesite?
13. Will there be a ceremony to accompany the interment, burial or scattering? What are the details of that ceremony?
14. Will there be a marker to show where the remains are buried or interred?
15. Will there be a wake?